From McSweeney's—2007
Hunter sprains ankle.
Hunter’s son mistakes hunter for moose.
Hockey mask obscures hunter’s peripheral vision.
Through a bureaucratic mix-up.
By osmosis.
Through a government initiated job-share program.
Hunter develops non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
Hunted learns hunter has ticklish paws.
Karen Hunter marries Jonathan Hunted.
Hunter finds hunted attractive. [Their forbidden love spawns a child with the speed of a gazelle and the jaws of lion. It is called a Gazellion.]
Hunted drags self to deserted mountain cabin where he finds a first aid kit, exercise equipment, a weapons cache, and Tony Robin’s Personal Power.
Difficult jungle terrain, cheap laser crossbow jams, crappy personal cloaking device malfunctions, just a crappy day.
Hunteds get hold of an imperial walker.
Hunted is Steven Segal, hunter is some pies.
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